SEX ADVOCATE

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Are you comfortable in your skin? If so, good for you! If not, what stops you from feeling comfortable?

One big issue is body image. From what we perceive as beautiful or sexy, we distort our body image. We try to fit the mold. We exercise more, eat less, or vice versa. We just want to look like those models we see on TV and magazines. Why do we have the need to look like models?

I believe it’s the desire for attention. We want to attract desirable partners by being desirable ourselves. It’s a reciprocal relationship. We want to look good for others’ attentions and they are desiring the same thing. Few people ever want to be left alone do they? They want someone with them. I don’t disapprove of wanting to be desirable. What I do disapprove of is going to extreme measures to achieve an ideal body image.

I know some people who do crazy diets like eating nothing but syrup, cayenne pepper, and water to lose weight. I am concerned with the diets people go on to achieve beauty. Being comfortable in your own skin doesn’t mean to make yourself suffer so harshly. Being comfortable in your own skin takes patience. It’s about doing things healthily so you can still function normally. There is no shortcut to this.

My main point is this: To be comfortable in your own skin, you need to work at it at a steady pace. Set a goal and work towards that goal steadily and consistently. I recommend seeing what a healthy weight for your height would be too before setting a goal.

So let’s work on achieving an ideal body image through hard work and determination, rather than hastiness and unhealthy short cuts.

You ever watch a porn flick and just realize that you’re getting tired of it? Well, that happens to me often. I know one reason one might get tired of it.

It’s the desire for something more. The desire for something meaningful can put such a cap on meaningless lust. It’s at these times that I try to think of alternatives.

One alternative is to stop watching porn. For some, the porn drive might start up again. Another alternative is to go out and meet people. When in the company of other human beings, my mind is off my inner desires and needs. It’s focused on the present. I recommend these two alternatives for the porn weary.

Porn flicks may get tiring from time to time, but that might mean you just need some time to recharge the drive. It could also mean it’s time for you to do some other activity to occupy your mind. Getting tired of porn may not be a common occurrence, but it’s definitely a good time to discover something new about yourself and the world we all get tired of just as readily.

I was talking with a friend yesterday about a girl he has been seeing. He told me “our title is not ‘dating’”. I was profoundly confused by that statement because he told me they hold hands, spoon, and basically look like a couple, yet they’re not. This made me wonder what institutes the title of “dating”?

When I think of dating, I think about two partners holding hands, kiss, and spend a majority of their time together. I guess that’s not a very good list of what makes up a relationship, but observing what I just mentioned can be construed as people who are in a relationship. I base my definition of “dating” on what I observe.

We all have our definitions of “dating”, but I guess it all depends on how one feels about their partner and how that partner feels. We’re so used to seeing to believe, that we limit our freedom to choose. This is a life lesson I’ve learned from the talk I had with my friend.

Don’t worry about what others might label you and your partner. Give yourself the freedom to choose by your standards.

I feel like the media has a heavy emphasis on sex. Heck, it’s a fact that music nowadays puts a lot of their attention on sex. Not all songs do, but there are songs that are obvious in their sexual innuendos. So my question is: is music that has a strong emphasis on sex wrong?

Technically, I say no it’s not. Nor do they emphasize that you should go out and have sex. The artists leave whether you use safer sex or not up to you. The worst you’re going to get from songs is probably profanity. Songs are just saying how the artist feels or something like that.

It’s the artist’s preference that is emphasized in a song really. Rihanna likes S and M apparently and Usher likes making love in clubs. Instead of hating on the sexuality that seems to dance around us in songs on the radio, let’s embrace the beats and the melodies.

So until a song comes out saying that safer sex is wrong and shouldn’t be done, let’s hold off on the hating. Because music at least gives us the freedom to choose.